Monthly Archive

My TiVo is going to explode since the reality TV season is in full force.  So, let me tell you about my shows: 

Sunday night is Amazing Race.  As a travel reporter, I like this show because it gives me good ideas for future stories.  And I like this Charla character. Did you see her in that swimsuit?  I like that she and her partner basically kidnap locals.  Good strategy!

Monday is Dancing With The Stars.  I know it hasn't started yet.  But, I'm ready to predict the winner - SHANDI FINNESSEY!  You know why?  Because I love her!

Tuesdays/Wednesday/Thursday is IDOL!  OK, I feel a little I'm being cheated.  Let's start with the dudes.  Mop-Top, you're just aiiight.  Stop trying to be funny - it's not working.  Sanjaya, stop crying and man up!  Chrome Dome, two words: SONG SELECTION!  Seacrest, why do you have two microphones?

Idol ladies, your turn.  Melinda, you look like a wig with a face.  Celine Jr., it's time to go home.  Leslie Hunt, you can brings your weirdo leggings and red boots over to my apartment any time. I like scatting. 

My prediction to win - WigFace.   

Wednesday is also America's Next Top Model.  Did that one girl say she had a tarantula named Sassy?  She's my favorite.  (FYI - I'm picking Atong to win Australia's Next Top Model.  ATONG!!!!)

Thursday - SURVIVOR!  Zzzzz.  Zzzzz.  Snore.... Wh - what?  Oh, is Survivor on?  C’mon folks you’ve got a field of pineapples and an immunity idol in your backyard.  Yul would’ve found that stuff in the first 5 minutes!

Finally, Friday is Las Vegas!  I still can't figure out who people get kicked off this show.  That girl from 90210 is OK, but I think she's going to get voted off soon.  I pick Victoria's Secret to win. 

Remember last year when I went through the mystical hotdog factory meat locker and visited the magic land of Meatville? Well, I wanted to explore Meatville's nearest neighbor - Carbtown!  Carbtown's head of state - the Duke of Pancake- sent me a personal invitation to attend Carbtown's famous Starch Days, a week-long celebration honoring Carbtown's heritage. I was escorted through Carbtown by the Duke's chauffeur/pedicurist, Mr. Henry Potato.

On our first day, Henry took me on a tour of Carbtown's Waffle District. The streets are literally made out of waffles. Delicious! As we were winding down our tour, Henry took me to lunch at Carbtown's famous Mama Polenta's. Our lunch date was none other than Senor Chico Pretzel-Face, the Pulitzer Prize winning author of Funnel-Cake Fever. Check back tomorrow for a sneak-peek of my exclusive interview!

Hey Reality TV Fans! Just because I'm in Carbtown, doesn't mean that I'm not hunting down a TV to watch my shows with my new friends.

Was last week a let-down or what? From Amazing Race to American Idol, I was disappointed across the board. Here's what's giving me a red rump this week:

1. Amazing Race. What the heck happened? Rob and Amber eliminated? Defeated by Mirna and Shmirna? It feels like I've just been kicked in the gut by a giant - that's how horrible I feel right now.

2. American Idol. SANJAYA survives another week??? Now I know why my remote has a mute button. My earholes simply can't take another week. (Oh yeah - I have earholes!)

3. America's Next Top Model. Is it me or are all of these girls really ugly?

4. Australia's Next Top Model. OK - these girls are h-h-h-hot!!!! Like set-my-freaking-face-on-fire hot. This show is now the highlight of my week. You know why? One word - ATONG!!!!

5. Survivor. It wasn't even on this week! SHEESH!

6. Dancing With The Stars. Still not on yet. SHANDI - don't you worry, though. I'll do my part come Monday night.

7. Las Vegas. that girl from 90210 got kidnapped, I think. I can't figure that one out. Las Vegas confuses me.

Oh Carbtown! You are truly a city of wonderment and delight. Even when it rains, it's not all that gloomy. Get this - the rain in Carbtown is actually sprinkles! Yum!

Last night, I met an enchanting young Carbtonian named Silly Jilly Jelly-Doughnut. She insisted on taking me on a walking tour around Carbtown's top-hat district. Did you know that 4% of the world's top hats are made in Carbtown? (FYI - the other 96% are made in Transylvania!)

Long story short, we ended up really enjoying Carbtown, despite the delicious rain.

PS. I just found out that my next trip is to Hong Kong. I'm stoked. I can't wait to compare and contrast Hong Kong to Carbtown. Where will there be similarities? Who knows?