Monthly Archive

Monthly Archive

Is this love, Myrna Gooch?

Wed, 2006-06-07 04:00.

We hired a new copy editor at the Gold Coast Traveler last week. Her name is Myrna Gooch - no joke. Anyway, we took the Goocher out to lunch for her first day yesterday (Chicago Pancake Factory, naturally). I’m enjoying my short stack when I see Goocher take a drink of her 2% milk. Before she can swallow, she starts coughing and the milk comes streaming out
of her nose, which she quickly catches in her milk glass. Rather than run to the bathroom, she just wipes up and continues eating as if nothing happened.

I think I might be in love with the Goocher.

P.S. I dreamt that the Goocher and I were in that Whitesnake video last night. You know the one with that chick from Bachelor Party? It was awesome. Plus it reminded me what a great movie Bachelor Party is. Adrien Zmed, suspenders and wacky hi-jinks…really what could be better? Maybe I’ll invite the Goocher over to watch it tonight.

Bullhorn

Sat, 2006-06-10 04:00.

I bought myself a bullhorn this weekend. It is, by far, the best thing I’ve ever bought. I use it everywhere. This morning, I used it to yell at my cab driver to go faster. Awesome! When I got to work, I used it to tell the snack cart lady I wanted two bran muffins for breakfast. Then about 20 minutes later, I used it in the bathroom to tell my turds to come out of my butt. To sum up, bullhorns are excellent and can be used in many ways.

Hello Brooklyn!

Wed, 2006-06-21 04:00.

As wise Beasties once said, “New York New York it’s a hell of a town. The Bronx is up and I’m Brooklyn down” Amen, brothers! I just got back from a whirlwind weekend in the Big Apple. I partied with James Lipton, took in a show, cruised around Lady Liberty, but strangely the only pictures I had on my camera were from a park where a conked out for a few hours. I got to enjoy McCarren Park’s fine weekend activities including the Renegade Craft Fair, dualing Mr. Softee/Gelato vendors (oh the mesmerizing ice cream truck melodies!) and random hugs from passerbys. Who says that New Yorkers aren’t friendly?

There’s Ava introducing me to her pal, Bert.

The alluring Sophie and I discussed politics, the environment and her favorite poet, Dr. Seuss

Then there’s this guy. We were both missing our dads on Father’s Day. I called Dr. Pickles right afterwards and he told me a corny joke. I love that guy!

 

 

Beard Academy

Tue, 2006-06-27 04:00.

I was catching up with my friend Mr. Friend this weekend at the French Toasterie on Sedgwick. He was telling me about this continuing education class he just signed up for at the Chicago Beard Academy. He says that beard maintenance is going to be the next hot job market; these classes will help him pass the Beard Bar Exam, which all beard pros need to pass to become fully licensed and accredited. Uh, I certainly can’t make this up - I scanned the brochure he gave me.
 
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